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A lot of people, including me, turned to online dating, and Ok Cupid was all the rage.
As I was serious about finding someone, I uploaded a lot of pictures of myself, had a very thorough profile, and received a lot of attention. Eventually, it got to be too much and I closed my profile.
In total, I received 11 messages with 218 visitors. A few were a little more forward, and two were straight-up aggressive.
Despite Casual Kiss being kind of scammy, with only 3000 monthly visitors, I decided to give it a try all the same – and I wasn’t entirely disappointed.
He came away with the realization that women have it much, much harder on these sites: I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 4chan uneasy.
And if you’re serious about finding someone, make sure you don’t come across as too aggressive. No means no, and you’re not going to be able to ‘convince’ anyone to fall in love with you, and reacting with anger and threats when someone isn’t interested won’t help you. Watch for any red flags, such as disregarding your boundaries and not respecting your feelings.
When going to meet someone in person, it helps to suggest you both bring along a friend.
If you see a picture of a woman you like, take the time to read her profile. When messaging a woman without bothering to learn about her through her profile, it may come across as you not caring about her as a person – no one wants that. If you’re interested in something casual, tell her or put it in your profile.
If you’d like a casual encounter, make that known as well.